Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
