My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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