were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
