brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
