is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
