hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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