i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
