420 ftw
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize