come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
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WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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