Sponge bath it is.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
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Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
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I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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