I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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