Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
