My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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