I must be too annoying 4 u.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
