So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Bring me that man meat
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
