some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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