Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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