New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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