I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
They took my balls.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
