were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
