i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
