So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
and i looked up. we had an audience...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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