Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
