If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Shame - the story of my life.
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