epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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