And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
