So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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