i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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