Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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