you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my shit smells like andre
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
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The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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