Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
