in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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