I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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