Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
