yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
