I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
