1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
