why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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