it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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