Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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