My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
