I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
