i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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