apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
