Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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