The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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