i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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