When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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