The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
