My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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