I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
