I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
