READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize