I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
