you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
