I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
