You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
