There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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