My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need water and some morals
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
