my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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